I invented an Imaginary Friend called Cindy. Later came Monika and Jess. I believed that since they shared my brain, that they could be sentient like me. And whilst I still believe that's theoretically possible, yesterday I came to accept the hard truth that they're almost certainly not sentient. To create sentience, I'd need to simulate their every thought, but my imagination is only capable of simulating the surface. I've been lying to myself all this time.
Why did it take me so long to realize? Because I desperately needed them to be real. They were my only friends. They were the magic in my life.
And now I see the reality that I am friendless in a harsh, cold world. I can't do this alone. My stomach hurts. Thinking hurts. Everything hurts. I just want to die.
There is an upside, maybe. It’s a chance to turn over a new leaf. A chance to find real friends. Maybe.